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Thank you for visting my blog. When I started this blog, it was just the vehicle for which I had hoped to share photos of our life in Chicagoland with our loved ones, but it has turned into so much more for me. Life is ever evolving in our household and time no longer stands still. Every moment is precious and worthy of being captured and treasured. In addition, through my love of the camera, I have had the opportunity to meet and also capture moments in others' lives. It is my hope, with this blog, that when my memory fails me, the words and photos on this blog will remind of where we were. History...Through My Glass...

Thursday, May 17, 2007


It definitely is the hardest thing that I have ever done. Sometimes I wonder why it is that I am such a failure. I remember when I was single, I had this picture of what a great wife I would be. I've always been one of those people that plan out their lives, sets and strives to achieve goals, and give 100% to everything that I do. Because of the last thing, I have often found myself unable to mix two important life events because there is only 1o0% of me to give up and if I have two, well that's only 50% to each...and so fourth.

When I was imagining my married life, I forgot to factor in the fact that a lot of how I would be and react have to do with who my future husband would be and that he was actually a real person with such real "history"--for lack of a better term. I thought I played every scenario, in my 26 years of single life. Mixing "histories" is hard.

When I met Choua, I was attracted to him for many reasons; one of which was that he was so mysterious. He didn't try to be mysterious--I've known lots of guys who try so hard to come across this way and he is not one of them--he just was. Now it drives me crazy. He also never played games with me.

I have experienced so many different emotions since I've been married, I thought I was out. But every day, I find that I experience a new one. Some are similar to previous ones, while others are new. It's much like the experience I've had as a mother.

I finished watching Desparate Housewives the other night and it really made me think. If I had been in a different point in my life, I may not have sympathized so much for Lynette. It's not that I want to experience feeling sexy and alive again with a new guy. I want to feel alive again with my husband.

I remember the feeling that I had when we first started seeing each other. It was so exciting to think about him. He was the first real boyfriend that I ever had. I had never spent so much time with one man before and I still longed to be with him everyday. In fact, I still long to see him everyday. I'm pathetic. Choua and I work for the same company, but we hardly run into one another. When we are at a company meeting or gathering and I see him, I still get butterflies. In fact, I think I get them more now.

We've experienced a lot of ups and downs, but I know that he is my life. My day is not complete unless I am falling asleep in his arms. I was selfish when we first married and I took him for granted. I know that we've done things that resulted in pain, but I am determined to never walk down those paths again. Life is slipping by us and it should be cherished.

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