Arlington Race Track

Today was our company outing. It was cloudy, windy, and started to rain, but again, a perfect day for outdoor picture taking. Here are some shots of the event. We didn't win, but we didn't bet much. It was just a neat experience.

My friend won on this one.

...and one random cicada on our front porch.

Promises...Promises

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

I realized that I never posted up pictures from Roan's 2nd birthday. I guess I was hesitant since Choua did all of the photo taking as my child was attached to me. Keep in mind, that Choua hasn't used a DSLR so the pictures are not the clearest. He hates aperture priority...I prefer it so I left it that way and told him to snap away. Looking back though, I wish I would have taken more pictures as now I know that that day was the perfect for outdoor photos. The pictures are straight out of the camera (SOOC) so they are a little colorless, since we didn't know how to take pictures yet.

I think it's so cute how Phauj Paj always puts Jenica next to Roan. What a little dollie?

Roan and Grandpa.

Adorable Twos!

It Seemed Like a Good Idea...

Until we were actually hiking. We wanted to test drive Roan's SUV stroller on the trails at the arboretum, but we had to wait until he took his nap, and then we had to eat so we didn't get out there until 5:30p. No problem because the sun really doesn't set until after 7p, right? Fast forward 20 minutes into the walk; cicadas were not our problem. An antsy, whiney child was not our problem. We were attacked by MOSQUITOS! Lots of large mosquitos feasted on my little child. We brought one diaper with us--in case of an emergency--and ended swatting mosquitos away from Roan. We must have looked pathetic. Note to self--next time, pack mosquito repellant into Roan's diaper backpack.

Roan also decided to go into "Terrible Two Mode". He was squirming and crying and so we let him out for some exercise. Big mistake. He was walking very slowly as mosquitos are feasting on us. So we decide to leave him and keep walking, since our encouragement to him for walking like a big boy was falling on deaf ears. He seriously stood there watching us walk away, determined to break us for like five minutes. Can I say S-T-U-B-B-O-R-N? Choua goes to get him and he starts fake crying. We bring him back and trick him into sitting down again with water. I hate to use the word, but we have to trick him sometimes otherwise we get the hysterical crying or we get the arched back, dead weight.

Later on, Choua tells me that he did the same thing to his dad when he was little. I wonder if Roan will ever fear the possibility of being lost. Unfortunately, I cannot teach him that lesson without actually letting it happen. Some days, he tests me...I could almost let him get lost. Anyways, it was a good idea in theory. Later, we found a big mosquito bite in the middle of his forehead. I also found a little one on his back when I was giving him a bath.

I am really beginning to get discouraged with my picture taking. I wish I had more time to devote to it. Let me just say to anyone who thinks it--it is not the camera alone. I am not worthy of this camera! I NEED A MENTOR! I think it would take some journaling and really reviewing my settings in order to start getting colorful pictures. And then I have to work on my composition. Right now, I end up cutting out limbs a lot and then I also get too much in the background. And then there is the whole photoshop thing. I don't even know where to begin! I am so discouraged!

On Saturday, we basically didn't do much as a family. Roan and I went for a walk with the Santos' in the morning. Roan decided that he wanted to be in charge. It was a crappy, rainy day and then after nap, we went to the mall to play before I ended up at the Improv to see a comedian-It was another ladies' night. All three comedians were hilarious. I guess the main guy is famous, but I don't follow it much. (I know, I need to crop the photo to the right).


Yesterday, we started the day with a trip to the Antique market. All of my pictures are washed out. I don't know why, since I had it on the lowest ISO. I seriously need help with direct sun and indoor pictures! It was lovely there, but again, my kid cannot sit still so we decided to drive out the lake front, where the Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, and the planetarium (sp?) are. It was a beautiful day! Too sunny, but beautiful. The lake was a shade of blue that one could only imagine and there were tons of sailboats out there. I tried to use my telephoto lens, but I'm still worthless when it comes to using this lens.

We slept the parking garage for like an hour, since it was Roan's nap time and we didn't want to mess with a cranky two year old. Then we were off. It was tiring, but so worth it. Days this beautiful are meant for spending outdoors. Roan got to eat ice cream and hot dogs (he is sharing his hot dog with Daddy in the picture...in case you can't tell what he is doing) and run around like a little animal. I learned that my child is a little mouth! In between each great extinction, the exhibit had a movie. Roan loved it! He would run into the room and climb up onto the bench and then he would babble, fake giggle and make dinosuar sounds throughout each movie. Now I know for sure that I don't want him to really start talking yet, since I am not good at answering questions.

It was a great weekend! We were so lazy AND active! It's the first long weekend that we didn't try to sneak in a visit to the Twin Cities. It really allowed us to enjoy Chicagoland. We realized that there is so much to do and see here...and that we really should look for a babysitter because we'd like to spend some time as a couple also. Sometimes, I can't believe I made this little monster! He really is such a gift!

Just posting pictures

Roan and I went to the park. I was riding the teeter totter with him so the picture is not the best. And yes, I still need to crop and photoshop these. When will I ever get around to it?

I cut off his arm! Good-bye long lush hair! We are going to cut it off for summer. Mommy is so sad...but it gets too hot for Roan.

Lately, his most favorite thing to do is open and close the garage...or as he refers to it "Car". He loves using the remote.

He jumps up and down and smiles!


I still have not gotten one single good indoor picture yet. By the time we get home, have dinner and finally get around to taking pictures, we're too tired to go outside so I have to take pictures in Roan's play room, and there is only one small window in there. I know that there is a way to take good pictures, I just need to figure it out.



This is Choua's Mom's family at Linda's graduation. Another crappy shot! I forgot how to take pictures in very sunny daylight. I had to revert to "auto". How shameful? There is so much to remember when taking pictures with an (D)SLR. Will I ever get any better?

Waitress

I liked it! It was a cute movie. I still think that infidelity is wrong, but it was a good movie. It inspired me and gave me hope and reassurance that life is good.

I had a horrible work experience yesterday. I was presenting data to the CEO and like 10 of their VP's of one of our members and had to use my cell (because the batteries on my landline crapped out on me). I kept breaking in and out and just as I was finishing up, the CEO says to me, "Are you on a cell phone?"

"I'm sorry, yes I am." I respond.

"Well, it seems to me that your participation is not as valuable as it could be if you were not using your cell phone."

OMG! I wasn't sure if I heard him right (as he was also breaking on and off) so I was a bit stunned. The senior person on the call from my group spoke up, but sh!t! I felt horrible the rest of the call. Anyways, I get an email today that this particular CEO is retiring. My boss jokingly says to me, "It looks like your cell phone issue has caused [Name] to retire." Thank goodness he didn't blame me.

My photography is getting better, but this past weekend we visited Choua's cousin, who graduated with her masters in psychology. It was a very sunny day. I found myself in "Deer in headlights" mode as I could not figure out how to take good pictures in direct and very bright sun! I couldn't figure out how to adjust the settings. I gave up and used "auto". I guess I should take some test shots before going at it for real. Lesson learned. I'll try to post some of those pictures up and some others.

These are two from my sister that have my parents and all of their grandkids.

This one is missing Tswb...he must have had a melt down...everyone looked happier in this one though.

Marriage

It definitely is the hardest thing that I have ever done. Sometimes I wonder why it is that I am such a failure. I remember when I was single, I had this picture of what a great wife I would be. I've always been one of those people that plan out their lives, sets and strives to achieve goals, and give 100% to everything that I do. Because of the last thing, I have often found myself unable to mix two important life events because there is only 1o0% of me to give up and if I have two, well that's only 50% to each...and so fourth.

When I was imagining my married life, I forgot to factor in the fact that a lot of how I would be and react have to do with who my future husband would be and that he was actually a real person with such real "history"--for lack of a better term. I thought I played every scenario, in my 26 years of single life. Mixing "histories" is hard.

When I met Choua, I was attracted to him for many reasons; one of which was that he was so mysterious. He didn't try to be mysterious--I've known lots of guys who try so hard to come across this way and he is not one of them--he just was. Now it drives me crazy. He also never played games with me.

I have experienced so many different emotions since I've been married, I thought I was out. But every day, I find that I experience a new one. Some are similar to previous ones, while others are new. It's much like the experience I've had as a mother.

I finished watching Desparate Housewives the other night and it really made me think. If I had been in a different point in my life, I may not have sympathized so much for Lynette. It's not that I want to experience feeling sexy and alive again with a new guy. I want to feel alive again with my husband.

I remember the feeling that I had when we first started seeing each other. It was so exciting to think about him. He was the first real boyfriend that I ever had. I had never spent so much time with one man before and I still longed to be with him everyday. In fact, I still long to see him everyday. I'm pathetic. Choua and I work for the same company, but we hardly run into one another. When we are at a company meeting or gathering and I see him, I still get butterflies. In fact, I think I get them more now.

We've experienced a lot of ups and downs, but I know that he is my life. My day is not complete unless I am falling asleep in his arms. I was selfish when we first married and I took him for granted. I know that we've done things that resulted in pain, but I am determined to never walk down those paths again. Life is slipping by us and it should be cherished.

I just thought this was hilarious. Laugh with me.

Visits

Be back to write.

Update

Here are some pictures from our late Easter egg hunt at a friend's house.






Cute kids!



My parents visited (from Laos, where they are doing missionary work) last weekend so we drove to the Twin Cities to be with them. Also, my brother graduated with honors from the UofM Twin Cities Mechanical Engineering program.



It was so wonderful to have both sets of Roan's grandparents around. My parents took Roan to visit his great grandma one morning so we got the chance to sleep in and sleep in we sure did! Then Choua's mom watched Roan while we attended my brother's evening graduation. I mssed him, but it was nice not to have to chase a stinky little guy around all night. It was way past his bedtime anyways. Finally, one night we decided that we should go check out the venue of his birthday party after we put him down. We actually got to have dinner--alone--together! We are so used to taking turns to go out that it is weird when we actually don't have to rush through eating because our child is done and wants to run around. Thank God for grandparents!



We also celebrated Roan's golden birthday over the weekend too. I'll post up pictures in the next post. I still need to post up a few pictures from Tswb's visit to Chicago too.

Ageing

Roan turns two tomorrow. His birthday is affecting me more than my own. I can't believe he's already two. It feels so natural to be a mom and wife, but every now and then I catch a glimpse of my life as a single young working woman and I can't believe that I am 32 and completely domesticated.

I look in the mirror and think I still look youthful, but then the pimply kid cashier calls me "Ma'am" and I am floored. Do I really look like a "Ma'am"?

When I go back to my hometown and I run into someone I knew from high school, I think, "Gosh, [insert name] has really aged." I wonder what they think of my looks? I can't look that old. Of course, my extra 20 pounds does aid--they probably just think: "Kaosong got fat". Seriously, I need to lose at least 20 pounds. That's another entry.

For the most part, it doesn't bother me, since 40 is the new 29, but some days, I think I really need to start taking care of myself. Since I've become a mother, I have completely lost myself again. I wonder how many more times I'll do that in my lifetime?