Blessed
A couple of months ago, I wrote a post in frustration about my husband. Since then, I've had a couple of people mention why I would do such a thing...air my dirty laundry? I did it for a couple of reasons:
1. I was stressed and frustrated and needed to vent. I guess I didn't realize that anyone was reading my blog. I had not really started telling anyone about it yet at the time.
2. I wanted others to know that we have hiccups too. I think many people look at our life and think we never fight. Not because I am such a good wife and not because we try to hide it, but because I do have such a good husband.
This made me realize that I don't ever write about the good in my life...well, other than Roan and photography. I think I tend to vent a lot and not be grateful enough. In the past few weeks I have been feeling so blessed.
I know that we'll always have bumps, but I am confident that the worst is behind us. The reason I know this is because I am sure that we have love in our marriage and because of this, I am more willing to be all of the things that I know that I can be. There are many things that I aspire to be, but I have only chosen a handful to focus on right now. I realize that I cannot do it all and I don't want to!
I see the person that fell in love with coming back to me and I feel like I am falling in love with him all over again...even more so this time. I'm not afraid this time to be vulnerable and I'm also not afraid to be honest and completely myself with you this time. AND I see the person that I truly am coming back too, but I am not overwhelmed by any of this.
I am also so blessed to have such a loving family. There are six of us siblings--four girls and two boys--ranging from ages 23 to 35. Even though we are not close, proximity-wise; we are remain close in our hearts. And even though our parents are in Laos, we continue to make sure that we get together and continue to "be" a family.
On the other side of my family; I am so blessed to have such wonderful in-laws! I could not have asked for a better pair and some really great brothers-in-law also. I have been a selfish daughter and sister-in-law and I hope to be more giving and understanding going forward.
I have also met some wonderful people who I consider to be close friends--you know who you are. I am blessed to have all of you also.
These people keep me grounded. Because Choua and I are pretty much alone down here in Chicagoland, we tend to focus only on ourselves. It's easy to lose track of our roots and get wrapped up in our own thinking and being. The funny thing is that it took being away from home to make me realize how lucky we are to be Hmong. I love and respect our culture...I crave it. It is such a beautiful culture! I hope I can learn enough of it to teach to Roan. I have always been accused of being too "American", even from Choua, but I am trying to balance both cultures and really value being bi-cultural.
And not least of all, I am blessed to have my faith. I don't think I could have gotten through the hard times without it. I know that many people think it's silly to put so much faith in a Christian God, but I truly believe that without faith, I would not have experienced such a great life. I realized that when my faith dwindled, so did my life.
Finally, thanks to God, my most blessed and valuable thing is Roan. I have the best one! Seriously! I always remember Choua's words when I asked him what he thought when he first saw Roan and he said, "I thought, we hit the jackpot!" We sure did.
He was in a good mood. I asked him if he'd let me take a few pictures of him and to my surprise he said, "Yes, Mommy," so I went to get my camera.
1. I was stressed and frustrated and needed to vent. I guess I didn't realize that anyone was reading my blog. I had not really started telling anyone about it yet at the time.
2. I wanted others to know that we have hiccups too. I think many people look at our life and think we never fight. Not because I am such a good wife and not because we try to hide it, but because I do have such a good husband.
This made me realize that I don't ever write about the good in my life...well, other than Roan and photography. I think I tend to vent a lot and not be grateful enough. In the past few weeks I have been feeling so blessed.
I know that we'll always have bumps, but I am confident that the worst is behind us. The reason I know this is because I am sure that we have love in our marriage and because of this, I am more willing to be all of the things that I know that I can be. There are many things that I aspire to be, but I have only chosen a handful to focus on right now. I realize that I cannot do it all and I don't want to!
I see the person that fell in love with coming back to me and I feel like I am falling in love with him all over again...even more so this time. I'm not afraid this time to be vulnerable and I'm also not afraid to be honest and completely myself with you this time. AND I see the person that I truly am coming back too, but I am not overwhelmed by any of this.
I am also so blessed to have such a loving family. There are six of us siblings--four girls and two boys--ranging from ages 23 to 35. Even though we are not close, proximity-wise; we are remain close in our hearts. And even though our parents are in Laos, we continue to make sure that we get together and continue to "be" a family.
On the other side of my family; I am so blessed to have such wonderful in-laws! I could not have asked for a better pair and some really great brothers-in-law also. I have been a selfish daughter and sister-in-law and I hope to be more giving and understanding going forward.
I have also met some wonderful people who I consider to be close friends--you know who you are. I am blessed to have all of you also.
These people keep me grounded. Because Choua and I are pretty much alone down here in Chicagoland, we tend to focus only on ourselves. It's easy to lose track of our roots and get wrapped up in our own thinking and being. The funny thing is that it took being away from home to make me realize how lucky we are to be Hmong. I love and respect our culture...I crave it. It is such a beautiful culture! I hope I can learn enough of it to teach to Roan. I have always been accused of being too "American", even from Choua, but I am trying to balance both cultures and really value being bi-cultural.
And not least of all, I am blessed to have my faith. I don't think I could have gotten through the hard times without it. I know that many people think it's silly to put so much faith in a Christian God, but I truly believe that without faith, I would not have experienced such a great life. I realized that when my faith dwindled, so did my life.
Finally, thanks to God, my most blessed and valuable thing is Roan. I have the best one! Seriously! I always remember Choua's words when I asked him what he thought when he first saw Roan and he said, "I thought, we hit the jackpot!" We sure did.
He was in a good mood. I asked him if he'd let me take a few pictures of him and to my surprise he said, "Yes, Mommy," so I went to get my camera.
He let me take quite a few.
He even flashed a smile here and there.
Then he started to run away.
And finally...this is what I got.
I also wanted to thank Choua for being so patient with me and letting me spend so much time working on my photography. I still have a long road ahead of me, but without his support, I would not have been able to learn as much as I have.
4 comments:
Kaosong, once in a while we all need to vent...I don't think it's airing your dirty laundry at all. If that's the case, my dirty laundry is everywhere. =)
I love the reds....Roan's red socks, the door, and his popsicle! Great photos...
sis, sorry about calling you yesterday evening. Happy hour. not. all. there. Talk to you later. love you.
Hi! Thanks. Max is 29 & a half months. How old is Roan?
Btw, I can't believe a reader would make such a comment about you airing your dirty laundry. Even if you were, (which I don't think you were), it's not their place to tell you that you can't or shouldn't. Sorry, I just had to voice my opinion on that.
kaosong--these photos are precious and i love your red door. i've always wanted a bright red front door, but am still waiting till I find the perfect house for a red door :-). i agree with shoua and minna in regards to the whole dirty laundry bit.
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