Just posting pictures

Roan and I went to the park. I was riding the teeter totter with him so the picture is not the best. And yes, I still need to crop and photoshop these. When will I ever get around to it?

I cut off his arm! Good-bye long lush hair! We are going to cut it off for summer. Mommy is so sad...but it gets too hot for Roan.

Lately, his most favorite thing to do is open and close the garage...or as he refers to it "Car". He loves using the remote.

He jumps up and down and smiles!


I still have not gotten one single good indoor picture yet. By the time we get home, have dinner and finally get around to taking pictures, we're too tired to go outside so I have to take pictures in Roan's play room, and there is only one small window in there. I know that there is a way to take good pictures, I just need to figure it out.



This is Choua's Mom's family at Linda's graduation. Another crappy shot! I forgot how to take pictures in very sunny daylight. I had to revert to "auto". How shameful? There is so much to remember when taking pictures with an (D)SLR. Will I ever get any better?

Waitress

I liked it! It was a cute movie. I still think that infidelity is wrong, but it was a good movie. It inspired me and gave me hope and reassurance that life is good.

I had a horrible work experience yesterday. I was presenting data to the CEO and like 10 of their VP's of one of our members and had to use my cell (because the batteries on my landline crapped out on me). I kept breaking in and out and just as I was finishing up, the CEO says to me, "Are you on a cell phone?"

"I'm sorry, yes I am." I respond.

"Well, it seems to me that your participation is not as valuable as it could be if you were not using your cell phone."

OMG! I wasn't sure if I heard him right (as he was also breaking on and off) so I was a bit stunned. The senior person on the call from my group spoke up, but sh!t! I felt horrible the rest of the call. Anyways, I get an email today that this particular CEO is retiring. My boss jokingly says to me, "It looks like your cell phone issue has caused [Name] to retire." Thank goodness he didn't blame me.

My photography is getting better, but this past weekend we visited Choua's cousin, who graduated with her masters in psychology. It was a very sunny day. I found myself in "Deer in headlights" mode as I could not figure out how to take good pictures in direct and very bright sun! I couldn't figure out how to adjust the settings. I gave up and used "auto". I guess I should take some test shots before going at it for real. Lesson learned. I'll try to post some of those pictures up and some others.

These are two from my sister that have my parents and all of their grandkids.

This one is missing Tswb...he must have had a melt down...everyone looked happier in this one though.

Marriage

It definitely is the hardest thing that I have ever done. Sometimes I wonder why it is that I am such a failure. I remember when I was single, I had this picture of what a great wife I would be. I've always been one of those people that plan out their lives, sets and strives to achieve goals, and give 100% to everything that I do. Because of the last thing, I have often found myself unable to mix two important life events because there is only 1o0% of me to give up and if I have two, well that's only 50% to each...and so fourth.

When I was imagining my married life, I forgot to factor in the fact that a lot of how I would be and react have to do with who my future husband would be and that he was actually a real person with such real "history"--for lack of a better term. I thought I played every scenario, in my 26 years of single life. Mixing "histories" is hard.

When I met Choua, I was attracted to him for many reasons; one of which was that he was so mysterious. He didn't try to be mysterious--I've known lots of guys who try so hard to come across this way and he is not one of them--he just was. Now it drives me crazy. He also never played games with me.

I have experienced so many different emotions since I've been married, I thought I was out. But every day, I find that I experience a new one. Some are similar to previous ones, while others are new. It's much like the experience I've had as a mother.

I finished watching Desparate Housewives the other night and it really made me think. If I had been in a different point in my life, I may not have sympathized so much for Lynette. It's not that I want to experience feeling sexy and alive again with a new guy. I want to feel alive again with my husband.

I remember the feeling that I had when we first started seeing each other. It was so exciting to think about him. He was the first real boyfriend that I ever had. I had never spent so much time with one man before and I still longed to be with him everyday. In fact, I still long to see him everyday. I'm pathetic. Choua and I work for the same company, but we hardly run into one another. When we are at a company meeting or gathering and I see him, I still get butterflies. In fact, I think I get them more now.

We've experienced a lot of ups and downs, but I know that he is my life. My day is not complete unless I am falling asleep in his arms. I was selfish when we first married and I took him for granted. I know that we've done things that resulted in pain, but I am determined to never walk down those paths again. Life is slipping by us and it should be cherished.

I just thought this was hilarious. Laugh with me.

Visits

Be back to write.

Update

Here are some pictures from our late Easter egg hunt at a friend's house.






Cute kids!



My parents visited (from Laos, where they are doing missionary work) last weekend so we drove to the Twin Cities to be with them. Also, my brother graduated with honors from the UofM Twin Cities Mechanical Engineering program.



It was so wonderful to have both sets of Roan's grandparents around. My parents took Roan to visit his great grandma one morning so we got the chance to sleep in and sleep in we sure did! Then Choua's mom watched Roan while we attended my brother's evening graduation. I mssed him, but it was nice not to have to chase a stinky little guy around all night. It was way past his bedtime anyways. Finally, one night we decided that we should go check out the venue of his birthday party after we put him down. We actually got to have dinner--alone--together! We are so used to taking turns to go out that it is weird when we actually don't have to rush through eating because our child is done and wants to run around. Thank God for grandparents!



We also celebrated Roan's golden birthday over the weekend too. I'll post up pictures in the next post. I still need to post up a few pictures from Tswb's visit to Chicago too.

Ageing

Roan turns two tomorrow. His birthday is affecting me more than my own. I can't believe he's already two. It feels so natural to be a mom and wife, but every now and then I catch a glimpse of my life as a single young working woman and I can't believe that I am 32 and completely domesticated.

I look in the mirror and think I still look youthful, but then the pimply kid cashier calls me "Ma'am" and I am floored. Do I really look like a "Ma'am"?

When I go back to my hometown and I run into someone I knew from high school, I think, "Gosh, [insert name] has really aged." I wonder what they think of my looks? I can't look that old. Of course, my extra 20 pounds does aid--they probably just think: "Kaosong got fat". Seriously, I need to lose at least 20 pounds. That's another entry.

For the most part, it doesn't bother me, since 40 is the new 29, but some days, I think I really need to start taking care of myself. Since I've become a mother, I have completely lost myself again. I wonder how many more times I'll do that in my lifetime?