Ageing

Roan turns two tomorrow. His birthday is affecting me more than my own. I can't believe he's already two. It feels so natural to be a mom and wife, but every now and then I catch a glimpse of my life as a single young working woman and I can't believe that I am 32 and completely domesticated.

I look in the mirror and think I still look youthful, but then the pimply kid cashier calls me "Ma'am" and I am floored. Do I really look like a "Ma'am"?

When I go back to my hometown and I run into someone I knew from high school, I think, "Gosh, [insert name] has really aged." I wonder what they think of my looks? I can't look that old. Of course, my extra 20 pounds does aid--they probably just think: "Kaosong got fat". Seriously, I need to lose at least 20 pounds. That's another entry.

For the most part, it doesn't bother me, since 40 is the new 29, but some days, I think I really need to start taking care of myself. Since I've become a mother, I have completely lost myself again. I wonder how many more times I'll do that in my lifetime?