hoping for more

A few more shots from Aleah's shoot:



Can you believe that she gets mistaken for a little boy a lot? ...even in pink dresses?





Roan recently has been mentioning his cousins more. It's funny, he calls them all "Ethan" though. That must be his word for "cousin". I feel so guilty for staying here when we could be closer to his grandparents and most of his cousins if we would have just stayed in MN. Roan loves being with his cousins. I swear, he should have been a second child.

Can you tell I have that guilt thing going on a lot? Roan was a surprise. After Choua and I got married, we decided that if it happened, it happened. We didn't know if we would be able to conceive since neither of had experienced a pregnancy that resulfted from either of us. Little did we know that it would happen so quickly. I was having morning sickness on our 1st year anniversary.

We get asked all of the time, when we will try again. I don't know what Choua says and maybe he doesn't get it as much because he's, well, Choua. I've kind of been blaming him, even though I've been saying that "we're not ready". The truth is, it was probably easier for me to say that and blame him than it was to face my own feelings on it.

For as long as I can remember, I've really only wanted two or three. He came into our marriage, thinking four. He kids around with me a lot so I don't know what his real number is, but lately, it's one. I think having a child has limited him more than he thought it would. I think he idealized fatherhood.

Lately, for me, I've been thinking of having more. In fact, everytime, Aunt Flo comes to visit, I feel a little sad that she's here, even though, in my heart, I'm so thankful she showed up. Yesterday, I came to the conclusion that I do really want one or two more. I want Roan to experience having siblings--all of the joys and craziness that comes from it. I mean, I can't imagine life without my siblings.

I used to daydream as a child that I was an only child or a twin. I was embarrassed that I came from such a large family. Of course, I grew up in Appleton, WI and my elemenatry school consisted of one Hmong family...us. Now it feels incomplete when one of us is missing. Six really is not that much when you are adults.

Of course, seeing as I want a late spring or summer baby, it probably won't happen this year. I think Choua and I should actually plan for a child this time.

And then one from Roan's bath because I just love his little bubble goatee.

weekend fun

After dinner with my friend on Friday night, we turned in early so that I could run some errands before Roan and I left for Wisconsin. I got my camera looked at at a local camera store. It was a rough look at, but it seems to still be functioning and to a hobbyist, like myself, I guess that's good enough.

We met up with cousins, Aleah (above) and Ethan, and Tais Nub at a little fair near their town. Aleah put on her rockstar grin. Roan was not very good at waiting in line so we didn't really go on any rides.

Roan loved the pony ride. So much so that he decided that he would just stay put until we forced him off. Luckily, there was about three minutes between his ride and the next customers. He was content to just be sitting on the horse even though it wasn't moving. He kept petting the horse's main.

I was too cheap to pay for feed and I didn't really want him feeding the animals anyways so he tried to feed it the hay that it was already eating on. The camel didn't really care for more hay.

On Sunday, I took some pictures of Aleah. I'll post them up later, but I loved how this captured them interacting together.

I had to open up my lens all of the way to keep the SS fast enough so that's why I couldn't get both of them in focus at the same time.

Ethan came down the stairs and he changed into shorts. He was carrying his shirt because he had some sort of reaction which was probably from rolling around in the grass. Roan thought it was wonderful so he came over and started pulling his shirt off. I indulged him.

They were dancing around, pretending to be rock stars.

I love these pictures and so will they one day when they are old farts like myself.

Roan loved playing with Laug Tom too. I think this is such a cute snapshot.


Ethan was posing for me. I have a series of shots of him doing kung fu poses. Little boys! :)

dropped

I took it off of my neck to get Roan down from the loading dock of the local liquor store (see pictures). I was drawn to the blue door and tonight was a perfect night and weather for pictures. As I was still holding Roan, I reached for my camera and had a good hold of it, but the strap got caught on the wood and it went flying onto the pavement.



I felt my heart drop as the glass shattered everywhere. The battery cover went flying. It seems that the camera is still working. I was able to get battery cover to go back in, but it's not the same. Also, the UV filter is broken, but the worse thing is that my 50mm 1.4 is pretty much dead. I can still kind of use it, but I don't know how much longer it will last. I might have to get another. :(



So I think these are the last pictures for awhile. I forgot that my ISO was set at 800 again so they are a bit noisey.

I thought the loading door was such a unique color...especially for a liqour store. At first he thought it was pretty cool to be up there.


Then he realized that he couldn't go anywhere and started to get worried...

He started screaming, "Help!"


I told him that I would help him so he started looking at traffic and was saying, "Cars..."

four years

...two houses, two towns, and one child later. I think we're finally starting to get it right. Happy Anniversary, Choua. I think the fifth year is the charm. Can't wait to keep sharing and living life with you.

snapshots from our weekend

We started the weekend at a farewell get-together for the V Family. Now that the kids are all bigger, it was impossible to get them into one shot. Can you see B standing in the background?




Then we headed to Chicago for what we think will be one final weekend there before it starts to get cold. We started out at the Museum of Science and Industry. We didn't know that it closes at 4p and we left after Roan's nap so we only spent one hour there. It was a quick tour.



This museum is by far my favorite of the museums in Chicagoland. Of course, I am a major nerd so take it with a grain of salt.



No...Roan is not in a real plane. He's sitting in the replica.



He had only a few minutes in every play area. This one was a crane, but he got impatient with the crane because he couldn't control it well so he got out and started moving the blocks with his hands.



Then we headed to Chinatown for the "Moon Festival". Roan was cranky and in complete terrible 2 mode so our visit was shortlived. We attempted to eat at the Phoenix and I had a warddrobe malfunction on the air balloon slide.

Then we headed to the Magnificient Mile to settle down in our bargain suite. We walked all of the way from Water Tower Place to the historic Mickey D's near the Hardrock Cafe. Roan loved being out at night amongst all of the people. Above is the view from the top of our hotel.

The next morning, we headed to the Lincoln Park Zoo...our first time. It's a nice zoo...much different from Brookfield though.

My guys...

There was this amazing jungle gym, which we later discovered was for ages 4-8, but Roan was determined to conquer it. I watched with my fingernails in my mouth as his little body climbed up the contraption. He was the tiniest one. We had to pull him out of there after about 40 minutes.

As Roan napped in the parking garage, I had to pee so I went out while Choua stayed with Roan. They were filming a TV pilot called, Family Practice, there. I know the pix is overexposed, but it was the best picture of the main actresses face that I got. I don't know who she is, but she seemed familiar to me. Does anyone recognize her?

Finally, Roan's favorite place. He kept running from one side to the other, but never close enough to the actual fountain to get dumped on. The couple next to me, kept laughing at him and they eventually realized that I was the little boy's mom so they told me that they thought he was just so cool. He had the best time!

one year

You'll always be in my memory and close to my heart.

I'm the Mom

A solicitor for a charity showed up at our door just as we were headed out to the library earlier this evening. I knew I should have just gone out the door, but I didn't listen to my inner voice.

As I opened the door and Roan runs up and stands next to me, he asked, "Is your mom home?" Yikes...can I say that made my day? Since I've had Roan and since I've gained 30 pounds, I've only been referred to by strangers as "Ma'am". The rest of the evening is not really worth mentioning.

I've been playing with PS CS2 and I think I am kind of getting it. Here are two pictures that I converted:

#1: I took out the original background of trees and sky and made it black to mimic something I might do in a studio one day, since I don't have a studio. I messed up a little on the right of the picture, but I can live with it for now.

#2: I converted to B&W and then I dodged her face and skin to bring them out of the shadows.

Sounds easy, but it involves layers and layer masks and such...